&the greying vision

Sunday, September 23, 2007 11:32 PM

alright.
been home the whole day.
doing NOTHING.
was supposed to get out of house for meeting with the peeps.
but cancelled.
how good could that be.

seriously, my life is getting more and more no life.
i need some fun to be injected into my oh-so-pathetic-no-life days.
yes, it's kinda pathetic.
i need some new injections.

seriously, i've did some reflection.
reflection on my own attitude.
i dint had great attitude.
i know that long ago.
i'm trying my best.
not for others, but for myself.
straightforward?
i guess because of that i've hurt alot of people.
but why be hypocrite and hide yourself saying or doing something that you think might do others good?
some people just cant accept the fact of others being straightforward.
i understand.
i used to be.
i had a great ego.
but i decided why not let others comments and at least you could have more chance to reflect.
you might think that it's just another person who jealous or dislike you and trying to make you sad or something and refuse to listen?
CHILDISH.
sometimes all these comments are for oneself good.
it definitely let you have a chance to reflect.
no one's perfect.
i strongly believe.
even myself.
but as long as you know the weakness.
wouldn't that be better?

everything was fine.
till then, my thoughts starts to run wild.
i got so fucked up.
i sought the help of my dearest drama.
since the past, it had been the greatest aid of me to get out of the agony temporary.
somehow, i found my ownself there.
all living in the own world.
wouldn't that be good?

everything is so fake.
fake.
i cant differentiate everything.
was that a truth of moment?
or was it just an act you wanted to do just to get back that friendship?
seriously, i'm speechless.
past would never be back.
i miss the past dearly too.
but could i turn back time?
you and me jolly well know the answer.
we can't.

the world is fake.
i cant deny.

the truth and the lie.
it's just a invisible line seperating them.
a line probably you and me cant even see them.

life?
it's all about game.
you know the game, you survive.

i wished i'm like the past cindy.
willing to accept the reality.
but i've changed.
changed for the better or for the worse.
it's up to individual.
i just know i've change.
even the world's changing.
it's changing too fast that i cant follow.

now, i just need nothing but time.
cos i'm tired.

1thing2do3words4you.